WHAT IS SELF-SABOTAGE?
Would you love you achieve much more in life? Are you somehow held back? Do you never quite get started? It may be due to self-sabotage. And you might not even recognise it. The brain sometimes offers us convenient reasons why we haven’t done something. It’s clever that way. Perhaps you’d like to get promotion in your job? Or find a new partner? Or go travelling? But you never quite get around to it. There are reasons for that. You may have low self-esteem. You think you’re not sufficiently skilled, or that others are better than you. Maybe people have told you that and you’ve accepted that. There’s a voice that says ‘This isn’t what you do.’ Some of us say to ourselves ‘You’re a disorganised person’. It can cause you to set yourself low goals, things that are easy to achieve. You get up in the morning, and do your daily, routine tasks. But you don’t get around to doing any ‘big picture’ activity.
Start by recognising the emotions that cause self-sabotage. They’re the feelings of inferiority, of not being good enough. Notice when you avoid taking steps that would lead to a big change in your life. Spot when you say ‘No’ to an opportunity. Watch out for times when you hear someone talking, and you think ‘I could do that. I could do it better’. But then you don’t act on it. It just lies there as an unfulfilled dream. Accept that taking big steps are difficult. They cause us anxiety. We feel nervous.
ACTION POINTS: BEATING SELF SABOTAGE
Say Yes to opportunities. If someone offers you a bigger role or some responsibility, say ‘Yes’. Write down the specific steps needed to achieve the change that’s on your mind. Keep them somewhere you will see them. Start with very small steps. They will build your confidence. At the top of a small hill you will be able to see the next one. It won’t seem so far away. Identify your strengths. Write down the things you have achieved, or the ways we have helped someone else to achieve something. Have a mantra or affirmation you can repeat to yourself. Here are some examples: – I can do this. – I have the skills to do that job. – No more hesitation.
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These ideas are taken from my forthcoming book, Get Up and Go.
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