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Make little steps forward

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To make a change, you need to break a big job into lots of smaller ones. Take writers as an example. Their biggest obstacle is the thought that the book will take too long. They see the workload stretching out in front of them, with no end in sight. The laborious research, the hundreds of thousands of words, and the hunt for a publisher. And that’s why so many would-be authors never get started. They don’t have a process. ‘The journey of a thousand miles starts with the smallest step,’ says the old Chinese proverb. If you think about the scale of the changes you’re seeking, it’s easy to get disheartened. How can you get from here to there, you ask? The answer is to take it one step at a time.

Baby steps are not only OK but sensible.

Elsewhere on this site and in my book,  I talk about the need to have a list, and to break it into headings. And break those into sub-tasks. Or to use an old saying, ‘By the inch it’s a cinch. By the yard it’s hard’. You need a list of jobs, broken down into smaller sections. And then do each step. They don’t even have to be sequential. If you saw my Get Up and Go book over the months I was writing it, you’d have seen batches of 500-word articles, many in random order and which gradually came together into a logical sequence. In short, you just have to complete a step, and move on to the next one. And the first step is the most important. Have you created a list of jobs? If not, do it now. Put it down in any form you want, as long as it works for you. You can always change the types of list, and how it’s structured. But do that first step now. Feel free to start small. Want to be self-employed? Start with a side gig. Looking for a partner? Get a list of local events. Thinking of writing a novel? Start with a short story.  

Practise in a small way

Want to go rowing? If you join the UK’s Amateur Rowing Association they will get you to capsize – but in a shallow safe area, where you can’t drown. There’s a message here for all of us. Taking baby steps will help you get used to your future life. If you need to cook for a dinner party, do the dish for just you and your partner. If it tastes wrong, it won’t matter.  

Now write down some small steps you could take to achieve your goal.

You can download an editable version here: Taking those all-important little steps  

My initial small steps  
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Want to know more?

These ideas are taken from my forthcoming book, Get Up and Go.

If you’d like a free, no-obligation chat, click the button below. It takes you to our phone call booking system.

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Do you want help with achieving change in your life? We have a coaching programme that could help you. Learn more.

SAY NO TO SELF-SABOTAGE

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WHAT IS SELF-SABOTAGE?

Would you love you achieve much more in life? Are you somehow held back? Do you never quite get started? It may be due to self-sabotage. And you might not even recognise it. The brain sometimes offers us convenient reasons why we haven’t done something. It’s clever that way. Perhaps you’d like to get promotion in your job? Or find a new partner? Or go travelling? But you never quite get around to it. There are reasons for that. You may have low self-esteem. You think you’re not sufficiently skilled, or that others are better than you. Maybe people have told you that and you’ve accepted that. There’s a voice that says ‘This isn’t what you do.’ Some of us say to ourselves ‘You’re a disorganised person’. It can cause you to set yourself low goals, things that are easy to achieve. You get up in the morning, and do your daily, routine tasks. But you don’t get around to doing any ‘big picture’ activity.  

IDENTIFYING SELF-SABOTAGE

Start by recognising the emotions that cause self-sabotage. They’re the feelings of inferiority, of not being good enough. Notice when you avoid taking steps that would lead to a big change in your life. Spot when you say ‘No’ to an opportunity. Watch out for times when you hear someone talking, and you think ‘I could do that. I could do it better’. But then you don’t act on it. It just lies there as an unfulfilled dream. Accept that taking big steps are difficult. They cause us anxiety. We feel nervous.  

ACTION POINTS: BEATING SELF SABOTAGE

Say Yes to opportunities. If someone offers you a bigger role or some responsibility, say ‘Yes’. Write down the specific steps needed to achieve the change that’s on your mind. Keep them somewhere you will see them. Start with very small steps. They will build your confidence. At the top of a small hill you will be able to see the next one. It won’t seem so far away. Identify your strengths. Write down the things you have achieved, or the ways we have helped someone else to achieve something. Have a mantra or affirmation you can repeat to yourself. Here are some examples: – I can do this. – I have the skills to do that job. – No more hesitation.  

Want to know more?

These ideas are taken from my forthcoming book, Get Up and Go.

If you’d like a free, no-obligation chat, click the button below. It takes you to our phone call booking system.

Talk to us in confidence

 

 

Do you want help with achieving change in your life? We have a coaching programme that could help you. Learn more.

Luck doesn’t come into it

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You Don’t Need Luck, Just Pluck

Some people think they’re dogged by bad luck, while others think they’re lucky. Truth is, neither is right. And here’s why. In an experiment done by Richard Wiseman in The Luck Factor, he discovered that people who considered themselves lucky hadn’t noticed the steps they’d taken to succeed. One woman talked about how she ‘just happened’ to find a partner one evening, ‘quite by accident’. But she omitted to say that she regularly went out to social events and mixed with people. Others, who stayed at home and watched TV, thought they were ‘unlucky’ because good things didn’t happen to them.

The lesson here is that we make our own luck.

‘Bad luck’ can sometimes happen because we’ve made bad choices, something we discuss in ‘How to make better choices’. If you haven’t been successful in the things you have tried, you may not have failed enough times. What I mean is, most things fail. You have to try a great many in order to succeed. Whether it’s finding a partner, setting up a new business venture or applying for jobs, you have to meet enough people, try enough business ideas, or apply for enough jobs. And you have to do each of them right. If you put off prospective partners by your attitude, you won’t succeed. Some people give off negative vibes. They may be tense, nervous, or stand-offish. They may have defensive body language, be involved with their phone, or seem bored. Are you applying for a job, and getting nowhere? That could be for many reasons. If you get interviews, that’s a good sign, so you don’t have anything to worry about. Just keep persevering. If you aren’t being invited to an interview, it’s time to review what you’re doing. We discuss that further in the book. As for new business ventures, I’ve had more failures than most people have had hot dinners. And I’m still looking and trying things. Because you only need one idea to work, and it’ll support you for a long time. Many of my ideas just don’t capture other people’s imagination. It’s a shame. I think they’re wrong. But there’s nothing I can do about it.  

Now do the ‘Luck not Pluck’ Worksheet below:

You can download an editable version here: Pluck not Luck Worksheet   Pluck not Luck Worksheet   This is an extract from my forthcoming book, Get Up and Go.

If you’d like a free, no-obligation chat, click the button below. It takes you to our phone call booking system.

Talk to us in confidence

 

         

Do you want help with achieving change in your life? We have a coaching programme that could help you. Learn more.

False Friends or Actual Allies?

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Falkse Friends
False friends often look welcoming

We’re surrounded by false friends. They masquerade as merry mates. But all too often it’s a wily corporation or an organisation that wants something off you. The same even applies to some people. Hence, excluding your family and friends, much of what passes for fun has a cost attached to it. The brands know how to manipulate you into buying stuff that you either don’t need, or isn’t good for you. I know. I’ve worked for two of Britain’s top advertising agencies. We’ve devoted our lives to getting you to open your purse. And we’re good at it. Ad agencies will show you happy families, shiny cars, and the promise of optimal health. We have jingles. We conduct research to understand your neuroses. We hire celebrities to front our products, and we put our logos on athletes. Nowadays I’m a reformed character. And knowing what I do, I want to help you think about your lifestyle. Feel free to buy whatever you want. But be aware that someone, somewhere, is rubbing their hands together, knowing that you’ve bought into the dream they’ve created. And if they’re not selling you something, they probably have some other motive. Their need is rarely the same as yours. The main false friends are: 1. TV 2. Social media 3. Gambling and the lottery 4. People who want you to buy into their misguided and unscientific beliefs such as manifesting 5. Companies that want you to buy their stuff These are your false friends. You may think they’re friendly and fun. But all too often they’re out to snare you. You can probably think of some organisations that are not like that. I can, too. They include some of the non-profit organisations; food banks, for example.  

Action points

When an organisation wants something off you, whether it’s time or money, ask yourself these questions: – How does this benefit them? What do they get out of it? – If I agree to their offer, what do I lose? Independence? Time? Money? – What else could I do with that time or money? To achieve a big change you have to be strong. Avoid the lures of those who suck you into their orbit and get in the way of your goal.  

Want to know more?

These ideas are taken from my forthcoming book, Get Up and Go.

If you’d like a free, no-obligation chat, click the button below. It takes you to our phone call booking system.

Talk to us in confidence

 

Do you want help with achieving change in your life? We have a coaching programme that could help you. Learn more.

Take the quiz

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What’s the One Big Change you need to make in your life?

Are you looking to make a big change in your life? Not sure how to proceed?
Take the One Big Change quiz to find out how.
This quiz is still in beta. We'd love your feedback on it. You'll be able to comment at the end.

 

Page 1 of 5

1. I don’t have time for myself
2. I want to pursue a new interest
3. I'd like more friends
4. There’s a pastime or skill I need to develop.
5. I should spend more time looking for a partner.

 

Do you want help with achieving change in your life? We have a coaching programme that could help you. Learn more.

Would an Accountability Partner help you?

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Accountability coach
Could an accountability coach help you achieve your goal faster?

 

What is an Accountability Partner? And how useful are they? The Pros and Cons

The one thing that makes a real difference to achieving change is having someone to hold you accountable. It could be a friend, your partner, or a coach.

Once you tell someone you’re embarked on a project, you’re committed to it. You’ve gone public. Your own self-respect will urge you to complete the task. Otherwise, when your friend enquires, ‘How’s that project doing?’, you’d have to admit you’ve given up or delayed it.

Accountability partners vary in their usefulness and competence. Ideally you need someone who is objective, and doesn’t push their own agenda. They need to respect your independence and not make you take steps that don’t match who you are.

They need to be regularly in touch, at least monthly, and be committed to helping you achieve change.

If you’re unsure of your direction, need advice or just want a shoulder to cry on, an accountability coach will be the person you can turn to. It means you won’t make the journey alone. You’ll always have someone you can turn to when in need.

In short, if you want to achieve change, an accountability partner makes it easier.

At Get Up and Go we have professional accountability coaches who are trained in helping people achieving their goal. If you’d like a free phone or zoom conversation with one of them, let us know. We seek to pair you with someone who shares the same experiences and goals as you, and is also a professional accountability coach. Even if you decide not to use them you’ll come away with ideas and systems for making a big change in your life.

For a free informal discussion with one of our coaches, complete this form:

Accountability Coaching Enquiry

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What kind of change are you hoping to make?

 

 

 

 

 

Do you want help with achieving change in your life? We have a coaching programme that could help you. Learn more.